Long Lived in Our Hearts

We win some we loose some and most aren’t even grateful to see another day. I just lost a loved one. Everybody in my family is close to one another. When one fall we all fall, like a domino effect. When one got drama we all got drama and we all in it to win it no matter the consequences.

They say for every life given one is taken away. In a few months I will be giving birth to my first baby boy. It just hurts because she won’t physically be here to see him. Although I know she will be with my grandma watching us from heaven. It’s crazy because I normally see things like this before it even happens. This time, I didn’t get see anything. I no clue, no dream no nothing.

After my cousin called me at 5:45 am this morning I could do nothing but pray for her. It took a minute for it to sink in and for me to realize “Damn, my cousin gone!”. I just prayed that God would be with her. I knew that since her mother had been sick it was taking a toll on her. I just hope that after she plans everything and the funeral is over she can take a deep breathe and release all that stress, depression, hurt, anger and pain. I’m still praying for her. I know it’s hard to loose a mother. When I lost my grandmother in ’96 it felt like I lost my entire world. I haven’t been the same since.

I pray that she is able to deal with things much better than I was. Of course I was just a child in ’96 and didn’t really know how to deal with my feelings. At least she is grown and is able to deal with a lot more than I was. I just can’t believe she gone. I just can’t believe she gone. When they said that the cancer spread to her brain I was in aw. I couldn’t believe that this woman was just at my baby shower in September of ’08 playing cards and having fun. Then for them to say that she was dying I guess I was in denial.

One day you here and then you gone. So many people take life for granted. They take love for granted. So many people in this world just don’t appreciate their loved ones. Life is not guaranteed to any one of us. God can decide to take me right now. He could decide to take a healthy individual over a sick individual. It’s all in his plan. We live our lives according to His plan. If it’s meant to happen, it will happen. We can pray for something all of our lives, but the only way our prayers will be answered is if it’s in His plan.